‘I mentally rehearse what to do’: the truth about sexual performance anxiety
It’s not just about erections – from body confidence to chronic pain, people worry about sex for many reasons
- This piece appears in ‘The ultimate guide to sex and intimacy’, free with the Guardian in the UK on Saturday
Sexual performance anxiety is a phrase often associated with men, conjuring images of ailing erections. But it’s a struggle common to many.
For me, as a chronically single people-pleaser with anxiety, sex with virtual strangers is the only way I get to have it. But this makes it even harder for me to say what I really want. This hit home recently when I found myself having terrible sex on an uninspiring mattress without a bed frame, with someone I’d met through a dating app, too anxious to say that this really wasn’t working for me.